Christopher, I appreciated this truly vulnerable piece. I think a lot of people, especially during the Pandemic, have experienced similar struggles. I hope everyone finds peace and tranquility.
From past experiences, I've found substances can provide relief, but it is always temporary. In most instances, the relief is an illusion. Once I realized this truth, I quit using stimulants, and then I found true peace. I've found myself resting alongside my family instead of staying up and battling the lonely nights. I'm not sure if it will help anyone else. I just thought to share it.
Overall, your story was raw and vulnerable, which I could relate to. Thank you for sharing!